Oh Monday, where should I start with you? I could start by talkingj about lying to yourself…or possibly lying to everyone else? I could discuss unhealthy relationships, really bad drivers or learning to calm yourself. Oh my so much to talk about and so little time to type it all. That and I don’t want you to stay glued to the computer screen for an hour because I’m just that interesting and all. I wish, right? Well I will gladly accept the 10 minutes you take out of your day to read my words and I hope it serves as either something helpful or a form of amusement. Either way I’m happy.
Bad drivers and trying to calm yourself is actually more of a description of my drive home last night and even though I could talk about it for a good 20 minutes I know that none of you really care, and I am totally okay with that! So on to the real subject at hand….
“You can’t stop lying to everyone else until first you stop lying to yourself.” –Kayla Davis
I can be so quote worthy on occasions. I have spent a lot of time the last week thinking about life and the way people tend to depict it to the outside world. We have these ideas in our heads of what is socially acceptable and what we should portray as happiness but the truth is we all look absolutely obnoxious. I have said this one million times, no one’s life is perfect. That doesn’t mean I want to hear how terrible your life is, that is just tacky and I don’t do the whole self pity thing. I just want people to be aware of the fact that just because you say things are perfect, the rest of the world knows that you’re full of it. No relationship is flawless, no one is happy with their partner 100% of the time. That’s just reality. News flash, if you think you’re going to go the rest of your life without fighting with your spouse you’re deep, deep in the dark so deep in fact that at this point harnessing the powers of the sun in your very own hands couldn’t help you. The truth is that we’re human, we all make mistakes and at some point we’ll all be in the dog house for a little bit. Now, what I am sincerely concerned about are people who actually think their life is perfect. I figure if you say something so many times you just start to believe it and I’ve often heard that ignorance is bliss. Well what happens when one day those people wake up and realize they’ve just gone from living in a fairy tale to living in a horror story? You were so blinded by your hallmark image of your marriage that you missed the point where your Husband started sleeping with the babysitter and now he’s leaving you. That must feel like falling from the sky to rock bottom. Ouch. However, a realistic person would have noted changes in the relationship and would have been easing themselves into the fall; it would still hurt but they’d get out with a few broken bones versus a fatal head injury. Don’t make excuses for someone just to make your life seem like there’s nothing wrong, you need to take control of problems not be complacent as they slip by and eat away at your mental state. Making the person take responsibility for their own actions will get you a lot further in the long run. I’m not trying to down play happiness here in the least bit, I know there are times when life feels absolutely perfect. But perfect moments are real; they are something that in that moment is indeed flawless. But minutes versus a constant are two different things. Life is full of ups and downs but life is never one steady line, unless of course you’re dead. I can remember a few months ago I was in my nice warm bathtub with the lights dimmed, jets on, The Fray playing softly through speakers, my beautiful new mural elegantly gracing the wall in front of me and my Husbands arms wrapped around me securely. In that moment I actually thought my heart was going to explode and I was going to die of happiness. If I felt like that all the time…I think I would be numb to the rest of the world, actually. The part of the frame you’re not seeing is that I spent the day bickering at him and frustrated but it made unwinding with him that much more beautiful. If we pretend things are perfect, we ignore the real problems and in doing so we set ourselves up for failure. If we admit to ourselves we have problems and don’t ignore them openly then we can build a foundation on more than just an image. When it all draws to an end we are not Polaroid’s, we will change and we will fade and the only thing we will have left is the love for each other so instead of worrying about how everyone else perceives your relationship why not spend time on how you legitimately perceive it yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment